What we would do for our kids if we could

Life is interesting... we know how to handle things when they come at us individually... or at least we try to learn from each experience. We talk to our family and friends to deal with our personal situations. When an issue - such as illness affects us- we do what we can personally to get ourselves healthy and back to "us" again! We have control of ourselves - as much as we can. We can choose what to do for ourselves. We can be selfish - we can do what we must to ease our own pain. We do whatever we can to rid ourselves of our ailments or our pain.

But what happens when it is our child? What do we do to make them feel better? After all it is our job - a honor we love. Is it simple... (what amazes me is a lot of time a kiss and a band aid fix EVERYTHING)?

I have asked myself this question so many times watching my youngest living life through 2 major illnesses: asthma & most recently on our minds - her urinary/bladder issues for the last 5 years+. I look at how strong she is... she has been battling these pretty much all her life - but yet she is such a happy, independent, brave little girl. But when her pain starts up and she is in agony... why do I feel so helpless? Why do I get so angry- sometimes regrettably at her- that I cannot free her from these diseases? Why can't I take on her pain myself to spare her this misery? THIS is where life transforms... we go from selfish individuals to trying to take on our children's pain. I have learned so much through this little girl.

Tomorrow is another appointment with our 6th doctor to figure out what's happening. Through this whole ordeal - I continue to learn from my six year old and learn more about myself and my threshold for patience and determination to get my baby well.

I would take this all from her and on to myself if I could.

This is how I try to make sense of all this.

This is my Mommyhood.