Feeling Better!!

I am feeling better! Really I am!! Honest!!!
OK... who believes me?

Actually each day is a different day and depending on how much I do - I can see there are small improvements and I am so grateful to have those! I choose to hold on to these! I got some photos from my Post-op visit... I now need to "embrace" my new hardware in my body!!

It is rather funky to actually think that this "stuff" is in me now! We didn't realize that rods had been put in to my back - so that was a revelation & explained why I have 2 incisions back there now. I think I may have pulled a stitch 2 nights ago - but my friend & personal (I do so love the sound of that - makes me feel ever-so important heheehhe) nurse put a steri-strip on it so hopefully there will be no permanent, weird scarring from the open part of the incision.

There is some slight swelling around the back incisions and I will need to watch those.

But I digress... on to why I am feeling better (HONEST- at least mentally!!!):

Last night I got to go on my

FIRST FUN EXCURSION

since surgery! I went to a Book Club that my friend is doing! A first for me - but I LOVE books & reading. I am so happy to have been invited to join a book club with my friend - I 've always wanted to be involved in one.
It was a lovely evening... OH YES it was!!! With delish food and a good discussion - how could it not be?! It was very interesting to hear other people's opinions about the book we read, which is called Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. It was a good book - lots of themes streaming through. It was not my favorite book... but I liked it ok. It was SO nice to be out and about - even if I was not doing great physically... but hey I'm not really "comfey" at home either. I took care, followed mr safety man and friend/personal nurse's instructions and didn't over-do... I was very careful!!! I am WIPED today but it was SO worth it!

Ahhhhhhhhh I hear the thunder rolling in... peaceful. A nice time to relax and heal (maybe even do some more reading!!). Time to do a little napping and try to remember this is a good time, a time to reflect, a time to regroup, a time to heal, a time to celebrate this body works, a time to feel blessed for my support system, and time to become a stronger me!!

Here comes the beautiful rain... time to relax and listen to the beautiful sound it makes on my roof and just be...

I made it...

I made it. I made it through surgery. This is the worst pain ever. I am not happy. Mentally I do feel better. Physically I am dying... slowly. I feel like I can still feel them working on me... creepy. I cry daily...sometimes several times - not a "regular" thing for me so it's hard. I feel so helpless.

My daughter screamed today and I couldn't come running... couldn't even come walking... just lied there trying to get Chris to go... hard Mommy moment.

I will have better posts. I promise. I am only 4 days Post-Op. But I wanted to say each day is a smidge better. O, but the mountain I have to climb, it is so unreal. I have been crying to God. Whining I guess. Which just makes me mad and humbled. God is so great. He does abide and is so full of love. I am so blessed to be walking again, to have this opportunity- this chance to be free from pain. I just have trouble seeing that thru this cloud of pain. I feel kinda alone. I feel a bit secluded that I am "putting people out". I DETEST asking for help - not because I don't appreciate it... it's just hard. I am a giver... and everyone has been wonderful. I have gotten soo many notes and prayers and thoughts and love. It's just me, pain & trying to see through the fog... It's only a few days past ... give it time. Mentally today was a GOOD day. Physically... well I guess I've covered that already.

News from the surgery:
~~ It went very well as far as being "cut open" can be.
~~ I have STRONG bones around the weak bone they took out.
~~ I have a 7 centimeter horizontal incision on the front-under my belly button
~~ I have 2 - 5 centimeter vertical incisions on my back (which is strange to us since they were supposed to do 2 punctures percutaneous (right through the skin). So we'll have to ask about that on my Post-Op appt 10/12 with my Neuro-surgeon.
~~ I did not do well with the anesthesia... as usual.
~~ I got "stuck" 16 times between 2 arms... and am bruised too much! OUCHEY!!!
~~ I spent an extra day in the hospital - blood pressure was 94/52... not good. NOT GOOD.
~~ I missed my girls, I missed mr safety-man, I missed my bed, I missed home.
~~ I am home, I am safe, I am blessed.

Thank you to allll my support. I am humbled. I am blessed. I know I am loved. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My Most Embarrassing Mommy Moments

OK...

So.....my friend issued this challenge (what a sneaky challenge it is too... she had me hook line and sinker). I am copying hers verbatim. It goes like this:

I'm going to share an embarrassing mom story, eek. And if you read it, you have to share as well. Just leave a link to your blog in the comments and we'll all come over and read your humiliating story. Doesn't that sound fun? I know, like we don't have laundry to wash, floors to scrub, dishwashers to load, toilets to disinfect.. But, it will kind-a be like a group of friends sitting around sharing funny stories, just make sure to do your chores in between checking posts :)

REMEMBER, if you read this you HAVE to share!!!

Well here I go... please excuse it's been a rough week and I am just "waking up" from a long fog of anesthesia in the brain... but I will try my best!! Now these are not in any order or funniest to least... but only as my brain can remember them...

1. Ky was about 18 months and I was either pregnant or realllly sick (probably just pregnant AND really sick). I fell asleep on my side on the couch while Chris was working. I had her well corraled in our family room and all her toys around her. So dozing shouldn't have been a problem. EXCEPT for the fact that I changed her dity on the floor - and all the accessories were in a cute little basket... within tiny Ky's reach. Well... I woke up to THUNDEROUS laughter... to the point that Chris actually who was on the phone had to excuse himself from his client....

Apparently ms Ky found out how to open her DESITIN... and "paint" Mommy's hair... not just a little bit... but almost the entire bottle. Where was I, you ask? How could I not feel this? Well I would wake up in a stupor and say "thank you for making momma feel better Ky (feeling the patting on the head of course) You're such a sweet, sweet girl" only encouraging her more and more. Yes there is a photo floating around there somewhere... I know there is... Chris took several as I tried to run away. Funniest thing - i had no clue until I went to flip the front of my hair as I so often do saying "WHAT?!?!" to Chris. hehehehehe

Oh man...that stuff is HARDDDDDDDdddd to get out of your hair!!! Like 5-6 washings!!!

(and yes Chris still laughs about that one)

2. I nursed both my girls... (yes we can see where this is heading I am sure) and I nursed them for quite some time. Well during a dinner with some friends we hadn't seen in awhile and I believe my parents, probably others as well... little Ky very innocently crawls to and motions to sit on my lap. Up she comes, and BOOM! up comes my shirt and she wonk-wonks me... YES... we all know where. Looks at me and says "NIiiii-Niiiii mamaaaaa". I could have CRAWLED under a rock... a rug... a table anything! Fully exoposed except for of course thte very unflattering nursing bra, engorged, and BRIGHT red. I kinda shrugged and said "guess it's nighty-night time" and BOLTED.

I could hear the giggling as I ran down the hall with Ky in my arms...

2a. Boo...well again with nursing... I was holding her. She was a REAL snuggler. NEVER let me put her down EVER. So I had come to my work (and this happened several times actually - church, with friends, etc) in Orlando to an important meeting and they had a baby shower for Boo. Well as I am holding Boo and having a serious talk before the shower to my Director (male - thank goodness he is a grandpa), my boss (very strict southern proper baptist grandma), and several of my co-workers (male) who would pick on me for anything they could, I see that they keep stealing glances downward...kinda toward my chest and my boss Linda's eyes get a bit wide... then I feel this tugging on one side of chest... Yeah... Boo decided she was hungry. And it was in the right spot... and I should not have worn one of my nice silk work shirts... a wide, wet ring around my front of my chest later... I hear them say "I think maybe she is hungry Kymberly".... YOU THINK?!?!?! DYING would have been easier...

3. Recently... yes recently both my daughters have become interested in "boobies". I've tried to answer questions and not make a big deal, telling them we call them breasts etc. Ky sees this commercial. And upon seeing that - she comes up to as I am changing in my bedroom and squashes my breast... "IT'S AN EASY BUTTON MOMMMMY"... Are you kidding me? I laughed so hard - but this caused her to do it more... and yes... in the middle of Target I got Easy Button tagged... in front of several snickering ladies (I'm hoping were moms and could relate). I think I have stopped this... explaining personal space etc...

4. Boo's fascination with momma's chest never ceases. We're at a restaurant before I have to leave for surgery last week. "Ma-me I don't want you to have surgery" She snuggles up next to me into my chest as usual. It's where her head fits. We talk. She starts to snuggle & snuffle (you know turns her head and noses in to me). OK... a bit uncomfey and I kinda remove her. Meanwhile - she turns and says "I don't know when I can snuggle with them next so I have to get it all in when I can". MEANWHILE... she starts to cup 'em both... yes... you read it... I said it. AND the waiter comes at that particular moment!!!! Yep it's about the timin' people... it's about the timin'!!!

5. Well I have so many more... but they're more of the same as above... lots of shirt or skirt or takini lifting. Lots of questions in the public bathrooms (OH AMY I can SO relate) but i think this will tide y'all over for now... I hope I have made ya laugh at least a little bit!!! I know Amy's made me laugh! And I needed it tonight!!

So now I'm done... post your snickers & giggles... der I mean comments... below with links to your blog... I've bared all (literally) for you... and now you can bare yours too!!! If ya don't have a blog just leave a little comment on your most embarrassing moment!

musings on memories are funny!