Blue

The skies are certainly blue. I love being able to see it. The sun does help me warm up - I just wish my mood wasn't so blue. Why? Why do I feel the way I feel? It is frustrating and heartbreaking.

We had a WONDERFUL and I mean WONDERFUL Spring Break. I cannot wait to post photos! We were really in our element. It was SO good to be together as a family. I love our time together. I truly, truly do. 

Families are forever.

I believe that with all my heart.

It was so fun together. We had a TERRIFIC week!  But then it rained the last day. We had to leave a bit earlier - not my choice. And it hit...our wonderful Disney World passes that I didn't think were even obtainable when we actually got them - until they were in our hot little hands- are expiring at the end of this month. There is no renewing them... not this year. Not with the year we've had. It's too bad. I really love going to Disney World. I know how lucky we were to be able to get our annual passes. I love to see my little, sweet girls' faces when go on a ride or show they love. I love that my oldest (11yrs old) still lights up that Minney Mouse waved to her.."She looked right at me Mommy and WAVED!!!".  It's been such a blessing to help us get a through a really tough time. A time I am sorry to say that is never gone. It's always lurking in the shadows of my mind. I think I am doing better though. sometimes. Is it funny to say that going to Disney has helped?

But I guess I'm down for a variety of reasons. Only I can't shake them. I want to lie down and throw the covers over my head and not move. I feel things are not controllable - and that is hard for me. I see my Sweetpea and she is growing up fast - but still a little girl. She is trying so hard to figure out who she is... then it hits... She'll be in Middle School next year. And I don't want that. But I do. I don't want to lose my first born baby...not that I am losing her... but the "baby" I am. I pray that she will still be my sweet girl. But we know Middle school age stereotypes...don't we? I pray she will be like me and my mom were. I never thought my mom was "queer" (yes... it was the 80's y'all). I never was embarrassed to hug her in front of my friends. I was a bit unique I guess. But I adored (still do) my mom and dad. I just pray I have that with both my girls. They are such snuggle-y wonders to me. How did I receive such a gift - twice? Such blessings?

I am sad. Yes. I will work through it and try to be more "me". Yes. Remembering that what is important is right here with me and beside me... crawling in to bed with me the last few days, weeks, months - still to wipe away bad dreams and telling me that they love me. THAT is what will help me defeat these awful feelings.
Yes.

I will somehow triumph. yes.

We're having such a GREAT time...

So everyone's here... Sister-in-Law, 'Kiki', nephew 'Kea', Sister 'Cyn', Brother-in-Law 'G-O', nephews M, J, & niece AE. It is soooooooooooo wonderful!!!
The last few days in review...We are having such a great time!
~ Friday Family got to see BooBoo and SweetPea in school. The girls were so proud to show off their school.
We got home and immediately started getting ready for the Open house I had planned for my friends to meet my family. The open house was fun and it was really nice to see my sisters interact with all my family. Everyone here has been soooo supportive and praying for my family. It was wonderful to see them together and get to meet the people they've been praying for...

~ Saturday we had to get ready to help my wonderful friend get to the airport for her move to South Africa. Unfortunately her flight to London was canceled so we had figure how to get her back there... it was very stressful for her and therefore for me too. Then off to Orlando to the hotel to meet up with Mr Safety-Man, our girls, G-O, nieces, nephews, and S-i-L Kiki whom had traveled to the hotel earlier that afternoon!! Had a GREAT ride over with just my sis and me! It was really nice to get to spend some alone time together.

~ Sunday we got up EARLY and headed to Magic Kingdom in time for the opening of the park! It was FANTASTIC and everyone worked together so well to get there on time! We had a BLAST at the park! It was a bit cold and dreary but there were ABSOLUTELY NO LINES until at least 2ish. We couldn't believe it! It was (beware some cheesiness here...) MAGICAL to watch the kiddos who have never been to Disney experience it! I cannot even begin to portray how we all felt. It was definitely a spectacular day/evening. I will have to post some photos of our day. It was just WONDERFUL. I cannot say enough of this day.

~ Sunday eve me, my sister, & her family drove home while Mr Safety Man, Aunt Kiki, her son, and my girls stayed for another day to go to Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom.

~ Monday we just totally CHILLED and hung out. It was great.

~ Tuesday we went to see the Manatees in the afternoon - it was AMAZING. There were EASILY 50 of them there!! And the boys REALLY got a lot out of learning about Florida's coasts and manatees. Then to Hungry Howies Buffet! (HEY! For 11 people... it was the easiest and quickest thing!) Mr Safety-Man and I got to go out that evening and finish some secret gift missions!!

~ Wednesday BooBooBear got to go with Aunt Kiki to the zoo with her cousin, while the rest of us went to the outlet mall to finish up some much needed shopping... gotta get those lists done!!!

~ And today Thursday - Sweetpea is going to the Science museum and iMax with her Aunt Kiki and cousin while we head over to Emerson Point to explore!

Every night - it's been rather late ones for me. We've watched movies, worked on projects, cleaned up, did laundry, and I try to finish presents that no one can see after everybody is asleep. I am trying desperately to finish all the handmade things I need to get done. I have to sew 2 things for 2 friends... I have 4 things to sew for my friend in Dallas. I have had to hand make 4 things for 'the sisters'. It's been rather crazy... all the while realizing I hadn't finished shopping for family afar and it's THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS! Hellllllloooo Kymmie...procrastinate much?! Or just plain forgetful!?

So more photos to follow... but the week at a glance!!!  It's been soooooo wonderful to have everyone here... I am really getting a lot out of my family here - it means more than I can ever say.

A LoVeLy start to Spring BREAK!

Our campsite!

We were fortunate enough to be able to go to Fort Wilderness for the beginning of Spring Break... We probably should have stayed home...but we SO needed to "get away". It just was not long enough. I really felt that this was so needed for our family right now. We are going through some HIGH stress with Mr Safety-Man's work but mostly dealing with the news of his mom having cancer... yep...he had to work - but not too long!

Needless to say Mr Safety-man's been very pre-occupied with all of that, traveling up to Maine to be with his Mom for a long weekend, AND his supervisor position with USA hockey. The seminars, supervising tournaments, and reffing has had him away from us for many weekends. We just needed to be Marriners. To be family. To get away from the stress. To just get away. To swim and play. To relax. To have fun. To love and be loved!!

I still cannot believe we went swimming...brrrrrr

The girls were ALL over their Daddy... I loved watching it! We ALL - YES - ALL - even Mommy went swimming. It was chilly - but the gleeful squeals and giggles from their little bodies made it all worth it!

my favorite crinkly nose giggles Always a mess this one... always a super, sweet smile

They were absolute ANGELS! And when I say that - I REALLY mean it!! There was really no trouble at all - and we had some long days/nights! Oh it was so worth it. I even relaxed! I had fun! I camped! I enjoyed! I smiled! I laughed! I played! I swam! I loved my family! And we made memories!

Oh I could add so many more photos... but you get the idea... a lovely start to a wonderful Spring Break 2010~!!

I just LOVE being with my babes. These times together are awesome!