Quiet...

I finally have some quiet. Some time to reflect, some time to ponder, some time to really think. It's been such a crazy few weeks... as if you couldn't tell from lack of posts!! I haven't really had much quiet time...Even when I've been by myself late nights (which has been every night the last 2-3 weeks working in my studio) it has not been quiet. My brain just has been buzzin' with things I have to do, what needs to get done, what schedule I have to keep. So having a bit of just "me" time - just time to sit, relax, and think...has been good. Short. But good.

I am truly trying to get our lil' online Etsy store - www.mArrineRsmonTage.etsy.com  /company up and running. Right now it is just a little dream - but ultimately I would love to do something big with it -  I'm not sure where it will take me but I can't wait to grow with it. I've found what makes my soul sing... and interestingly enough - I found it through such a dark and horrific time in our family's lives. And yet something beautiful blossomed from that time.

Being creative is just a blessing to me. This summer I sewed my heart out along with my sister. We cried tears, sang songs, laughed, cried some more, hugged, remembered, loved, and started our healing process all with an idea I had for some sundresses for the girls & "Adventure Bags" for all 5 of the kiddos. It helped. It made me focus on something other than the numbing pain of losing my little nephew Andrew, but first Mr Safety-Man's mom, and then of course Mr Safety-Man's dad the day of Andrew's funeral. I could pour energy in to those stitches I was doing. I could feel all my emotions and sort through them if I wanted - or just "phase out" if I didn't. (And ask my sister... I certainly phased out a bunch - I think I sewed my sleeve to one of the dresses a few times. My excuse - it was rather late!!!).

All this has brought me to realize - that I love to sew, I love to create, I love to use my hands and work with my clay. And I want to do this and share it.  It is a very 'soulful' fulfilling feeling to realize something you want to do. Something that makes my heart really sing. And owning my own company - doing something I love to do... that's my dream. My goal for later... well let's just say it will start with making my first quilt and move to some day being the designer of a fabric that someone else might use for their quilt!!

Early this spring I was invited to participate in the first craft show at the PAC - a local art center here. One of the ladies that put it together and I had become friends through another art show we both were featured - at the PAC. I saw her just before Christmas and she had this wonderful idea...a craft show of just local artists - right before Mother's Day!  I told her to GO for it! MADE HERE craft/art show was born! It was a fantastic idea and we are planning to do it semi-annually  - November and end of April now.

There were not a ton of vendors and it was all local talent. I felt honored to be among some wonderful artists represented. I was super excited and super anxious at the same time. I worked my tookus off...I wanted to make Mr Safety-Man proud, my family proud, and my friends. I wanted to let Mr. Safety Man know that I could do this and follow through and be serious about my commitment to our company - mArrineR's monTage. I wanted to achieve my goal and perhaps even make myself proud again in the process?

The craft show was Friday April 29th... there was a lot of work for mArrineR's monTage to get ready - we really had a tight schedule and both Mr Safety-man and I worked on a lot of inventory, on set-up, on props for the booth, etc.  A LOT OF WORK. But it was worth it in the end! I tried to handle the stress before our first "solo" booth. I didn't do half bad (well at least I think... Mr Safety Man may have different thoughts on that one...) - but I really have to thank my family for their patience with me. The girls were SUPER troopers and really helped us a lot and understood that a lot of time was going towards that. They were my BIGGEST fans and their parting words in the AM... "You can do it Mommy! SELL A LOT MOMMY!!" and they DID give me confidence!

Set-up was a bit difficult for me. I wanted everything perfect and I realized that it would have to be what it was. I think in the end... it turned out well. It made me laugh that I thought I would NEVER be able to fill a 6 foot table and in reality I think I needed a larger one!!!

The people just kept coming. During the show I think I can remember only a few lulls - and even then - there were still customers walking around. Mr Safety-man took off work to be with me after reffing two hockey games. It meant more to me than I can explain having him there to support me.

Loads of our friends came to support us. And for that mArrineR's monTage - all are truly thankful! I wouldn't be where I am without our friends. We got calls, e-mails, and texts from people that wish they could be there but supported us by thinking of us. Those meant a lot to us as well.

It was a great experience. I learned a lot, we networked, we learned certain things to say and what not to say, we sold items (YAY!), we received some knowledge, we taught our children some valuable lessons, and we spent time together as a family.

Everything that day/eve REALLY was a learning experience- really great learning experience.
I sit, thinking, and realize... no matter how anxious I got,  this day really was a wonderful one.

Was it all worth it?

Yes. Good times. Good memories. Can't wait for the next one!!