Maddening...

Budgeting stinks... it is hard but it's a necessary evil. With budgeting comes a lot of headache I think. It is this restriction where I have to fit a lot of my favorite parts of life in to this tight box and if they are extra... well then it can't be done. I do not really care for having boundaries placed on me (unless I of course bind myself to them). I have a tendency to push against restrictions... so here-in lies my problem. I know we need to start REALLY working hard on our budget but I DETEST doing it. My Safety-Hubs and I are trying to work together so that we can come to a mutual budget to help us both. Hmmm maybe I should look at it as a puzzle - trying to fit all these pieces together instead of going without and exploding from nothingness...

One way to help trim the fat so-to-speak - is watch spending at the grocery store... I am not that good of a grocery shopper I will fully admit it. I put it off like it is the plague come knocking at my door...I recently started to try and coupon "shop". I am such a newbie it isn't even funny. I am so intimidated by it all and yet here I am diving head first. I want to get as good as my friend or her friend... I mean total purchases totaling $125 and they pay $50 or less sometimes?? How in the heck do they do that?! I've tried... and failed...

But I am so unfocused... how do they find the time to plan, find coupons that really are what they need or use in their family, trim out & organize, and finally shop! It takes a long time to coupon shop. And you get a newbie like me trying to figure a layout of a new grocery store - well it's a recipe for disaster or a lesson in frustration to me. Imagine me going out for a "few things" and taking so long at our local Publix ping-ing from one end of the store to the exact opposite four-five times just like a pinball! CRAZINESS and maddening all rolled up in to one. I need to get organized, to streamline and learn the process better, faster ("We can rebuild her... we have the technology" - Bionic Man/Woman quote for all those out there that think I have totally lost it).

I digress... as usual... I try to give my family a variety of foods, healthy, yummy - but I am here to tell you it is NOT that easy on a STRICT and tight budget. My Safety-Man and I had that talk. You know the one I am talking about... the talk where he lets you know how far in debt you have become without realizing it. How life stinks... It's depressing... yes it is. But it is also an eye opener.... SOoooo coupon shop I will forge forward. I will try to get only things we need, and keep to lists and our budget (which is still morphing).

It's hard to keep under budget - especially when trying to kick in to gear a small business. We have bought so much to get things started. We have so much repair work to do to this house but now we need to decide on need vs aesthetics. We just have a lot pulling us in different directions... a crazy time. A budgeting time in which we need to stop, take a minute to breath, remember we are doing this for our family, for me to stay home, for our children to have someone with them, to keep our family whole. It is an important step however maddening. I just need to focus on the ultimate task and goal and relish in the fact that I am home with 2 beautiful little girls and take one step at a time with coupons and a limited list in hand...

Maddening musings