LACKADAISICAL... definition of Kymmie

Well I have to say that is EXACTLY the right term for me... I feel so badly... so lacking life, spirit, or zest the last few days! Heck I haven't even updated my blog or completely dressed since I have been home from Utah!!!

I have to say - traveling is very difficult. It truly is. And for me - I don't know what it is but going from the West to the East... it is more difficult! We had a FANTABULOUS vacation and I will post about that very soon! I am so excited to say that I have made some physical improvements... but as most people who know me know - it just isn't enough for me. I want to be better NOW!!! And being lackadaisical (OK I just love saying that word... it actually is lifting my spirits at I write it...say it with me my friends - LACK - A - DAI - SI - CAL!!!! See? FUN!) has been my norm the last few days. But I want to be so much more. I ask a lot of myself - this I know! I guess it is permissable since we didn't get home until after 1AM on Tuesday night. And then poor Boo got sick at school and was sent home yesterday and was home after throwing up last night... Oh boy! Plus a lot of sitting with a newly fused back - and not able to lie down in the plane, oh and add in there a 2 hour round trip to Provo before the plane ride... well it's becoming obvious to me why I hurt so badly right now. But man... can't something go right so I can get off my poor me/pity party and actually prove that I am starting to be more "me" again and am actually improving! I hope people can see that?!

Is it ok to allow myself some time to re-cupe? I think so... But honestly... I don't want to re-cupe anymore. I want to be absolutely fine. I am really finished with healing and waiting. I want to feel good enough to decorate - I AM in the holiday spirit... I DO want to do so much to get ready for Christmas... and yet... here it is... already December 3rd! I want to feel so fine that I can fix up my house, run errands again, help my friends who have helped me so much, fold laundry, DRIVE... heck ANYWHERE, and well - just be the normal (or well in my case... abnormal) Kymmie that I was before all my back issues.

Soooo to the wind with the lackadaisical attitude... I will start with baby steps! YES! That's what I will do...

Tomorrow I will glaze some adorable hand & foot prints which have helped me make some money towards a HUGE Christmas present for my family (I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT) and that is a great thing! Then it will be on to doing a little decorating of some of my FAVORITE things... like my garland I made 2 years ago... AND then on to making a new garland to go across the room from that one! So there are THREE things to get excited about... and if I am still feeling up to it - I will try to walk for a bit to see how I can do on that. Hmmmm that makes me feel better... some targets/goals. Something to look forward to - and yet something that will not make me feel overwhelmed. I like it.

And maybe... just maybe... I will get a little date night with my hubby tomorrow night. It's been WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, FARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr too long! So... I guess it's ok to feel, acknowledge, and then carry on!!!

Fa... La... La-La...Laaaaaaaaaaaa... La-La...LA... LA!!!!