Such is my life...

ACHOO!

Yes... with the warm weather our Live Oak outside dumps these little frilly, long, caterpillar-esque, "things". I really do not know what they are... I think they are after the leaves appear... but not sure what the heck they really do - except aggravate me and cause Mr Safety Man, Sweetpea and my chocolate lab "Moose" to whither with allergies. All I know is that when I go to pick them up, they fall in to minuscule brown dots.

ALL OVER MY FLOOR

And I also know that I just vacuumed my entire house - which didn't take me quite as long as I had it hyped up in my mind - but when I got back to the kitchen where I started (where my lil' Shih-Tzu, "Mugsy", tracked in SO many of these pesky "things") it didn't even look like I vacuumed.  Such. Is. My. Life.

Before this...last night as I am trying to get my kitchen cleaned - hurrying so I could finally say I got to bed at a decent hour - I pulled the refrigerator door closed like I always do... by the shelf. Only this time... the shelf had cracked somehow and as I had forgotten this point... the ENTIRE shelf came toppling out of the fridge. On to our tile floor. Smashing the glass jars - which I will have you know had olives, honey, and molasses in them. (We are in Florida people... you don't keep sticky sweet things in your cupboards). I was mad. Mad at myself, mad at breaking jars, mad at my fridge, mad for having tile M. A. D. -  mad!

Can I just say - Kalamata olives & honey on a floor do not smell nice at all - mixed with tons of glass - PRICELESS. And may I also mention that the juice of said olives ran under my fridge. OH GROSS. SOooooooooooo thank goodness Mr Safety Man was there and came running after he heard beautiful, flowerly words coming out of his darling wife's mouth. I am not sure if some of those words really exist quite honestly. I think I went in to outer orbit.  Such. Is. My. Life.

The up sides... I have twice now clean and vacuumed floors. AND my kitchen floor is clean, including UNDER the fridge and behind it (and that was disgusting - just sayin'). Do I care about the upside? NO! I am cranky... BECAUSSSssssssssssssssse I didn't get to bed as early as I had wanted....

Like i said - Such. Is. My. Life.

Oops life happens... again...

Been awhile since I posted and man I SWORE I was going to keep it updated with the fun of Christmas with my family here... but well... family time was sooo much more important! I know you know what I mean (those two people that read this... lol).

But seriously - I had HIGH hopes for the start of this year... and now well - looky here! It's already the 11th (doh now the 12th since it's after midnight) and I feel like I can just NEVER get on top of all the things pulling at me. 2011 is supposed to be the year that I feel like I am actually back to being me... Kymmie. The one whom is organized, put together, the go-to gal, the one who actually can maintain a clean/decluttered house...

Aaaaaa who am I kidding. Baby steps right? Just because the clock turned a new year upon us... and that I am feeling a bit more human (mentally and physically) well excruciatingly... slowly pulling myself out of the sewers of our terrible year- doesn't mean that I should expect miracles... should it? I still need to work on my resolutions and also on my New Year's cards... maybe that will kick-start me in to getting with the program?!

For now I leave you with a few photos of a wonderful vacation with a wonderful family and promise to pull what little of myself I have right now... together.

Time for bed...but first...

I am trying so hard to get caught up on this... but it's been crazy! I guess that is a good thing as it is such a different crazy - healing process - from even 1 month ago!!

Today was a good day. A good, good day. I have been writing a lot of my hard days... I needed to write of the good day even though I wanted to be in bed already...

I was up WAY too early - 5am... to drive Nana to the airport. And for those of you that know me well - I am SO not a morning person... to put it mildly. Goodbyes at the airport are always hard for me. And today was no different, it was sad - but I truly focused on the good parts of seeing her & laughing with her. PLUS I got to see the sunrise... I haven't seen that for a long time and...

it. was. so. beautiful.

As I drove home I looked out over the gorgeous bays, the beautiful water and I realized how blessed I am to be where I am. The weather warmed over the course of the day and I smiled.

I went to PT... My therapist - she just got engaged while she was on vacation in Vail last week... so sweet. She was all giddy and happy and it made me remember how Mr Safety-Man asked me to marry him...on our Mt. Batty... overlooking Camden, ME harbour... GORGEOUS. Water is in our lives... it's part of us.

I had a GREAT session with PT Jackie. She is just FAB. Boy did she make me work... and then worked on my soft tissue in mes fesses/derriere/cheeks/oh and the back too ... ouch - but awesome. "You'll feel this tomorrow" she said with a smile... but it's a good "feel" - pain that means I am getting better. She told me about how my muscles have atrophied a) from not using them for so long due to pain & b) from being pried open during surgery - lack of movement/blood circulation... BUT that she could feel some improvement. That's good right?!

I came home - exhausted... got to read a favorite novel and finish AND take a little nappy! All while my dear Mr Safety-Man re-did ALL our back roof/facia board and soffet work (ok I KNOW I spelled that wrong... but oh well). Noisy - but didn't stop me from dozing! THEN...

Off to a personal one-on-one training using reflexology/stretching/& core muscle stimulating/with a slight bend towards pilates... WOW! That was AWESOME, HARD, and just felt so rewarding. "Youll feel this tomorrow" was heard again. Currently I am still feeling pretty good! I was in awe... first in how BADLY I am in shape and can barely move through some of the exercises but impressed with how encouraging she was that I was only 4 months post-op... and second and I guess more importantly how far I have come in a short year...since my surgery 4 months ago. It truly is amazing and I am so blessed.

Then I picked up the girls. They were both not 100% - but despite some testiness here and there, necessary unwell pediatrician visit, and bookstore visit (which was the saving grace for us all) - the girls and I had a NICE afternoon/evening! They even tried chick peas for dinner without toooo much of a fuss... (some gagging on Boo's part but she wasn't feeling all together great anyway).

Ending with some laughs on TV with snuggles with mr safety-man, a terrific online chat with 2 dear people, and a relaxing quiet eve...

I liked today... I really did.

LACKADAISICAL... definition of Kymmie

Well I have to say that is EXACTLY the right term for me... I feel so badly... so lacking life, spirit, or zest the last few days! Heck I haven't even updated my blog or completely dressed since I have been home from Utah!!!

I have to say - traveling is very difficult. It truly is. And for me - I don't know what it is but going from the West to the East... it is more difficult! We had a FANTABULOUS vacation and I will post about that very soon! I am so excited to say that I have made some physical improvements... but as most people who know me know - it just isn't enough for me. I want to be better NOW!!! And being lackadaisical (OK I just love saying that word... it actually is lifting my spirits at I write it...say it with me my friends - LACK - A - DAI - SI - CAL!!!! See? FUN!) has been my norm the last few days. But I want to be so much more. I ask a lot of myself - this I know! I guess it is permissable since we didn't get home until after 1AM on Tuesday night. And then poor Boo got sick at school and was sent home yesterday and was home after throwing up last night... Oh boy! Plus a lot of sitting with a newly fused back - and not able to lie down in the plane, oh and add in there a 2 hour round trip to Provo before the plane ride... well it's becoming obvious to me why I hurt so badly right now. But man... can't something go right so I can get off my poor me/pity party and actually prove that I am starting to be more "me" again and am actually improving! I hope people can see that?!

Is it ok to allow myself some time to re-cupe? I think so... But honestly... I don't want to re-cupe anymore. I want to be absolutely fine. I am really finished with healing and waiting. I want to feel good enough to decorate - I AM in the holiday spirit... I DO want to do so much to get ready for Christmas... and yet... here it is... already December 3rd! I want to feel so fine that I can fix up my house, run errands again, help my friends who have helped me so much, fold laundry, DRIVE... heck ANYWHERE, and well - just be the normal (or well in my case... abnormal) Kymmie that I was before all my back issues.

Soooo to the wind with the lackadaisical attitude... I will start with baby steps! YES! That's what I will do...

Tomorrow I will glaze some adorable hand & foot prints which have helped me make some money towards a HUGE Christmas present for my family (I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT) and that is a great thing! Then it will be on to doing a little decorating of some of my FAVORITE things... like my garland I made 2 years ago... AND then on to making a new garland to go across the room from that one! So there are THREE things to get excited about... and if I am still feeling up to it - I will try to walk for a bit to see how I can do on that. Hmmmm that makes me feel better... some targets/goals. Something to look forward to - and yet something that will not make me feel overwhelmed. I like it.

And maybe... just maybe... I will get a little date night with my hubby tomorrow night. It's been WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, FARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr too long! So... I guess it's ok to feel, acknowledge, and then carry on!!!

Fa... La... La-La...Laaaaaaaaaaaa... La-La...LA... LA!!!!