Sew... much to do and 'darn'-ing needles... no time to do it!

ok... CHEESY play on words... I know!

I've decided that getting busy doing 'things' seems to be pretty important for my state of mind - not being on the verge of tears all the time, and to be pleasant to be around... SOoooo! One of the things that has helped me to keep myself occupied is of course to do lots of creative projects. One of them is to re-organize my back room to become a studio using a lot of Mr Safety-Man's mom's craft, sewing, knitting, etc supplies we brought back from Maine!! This actually has me excited and happy about something. I just have to get moving on it - so I can actually start being creative!!

Back in the spring - when I made the sweet shirts (if I do say so myself *blush*) for my girls - I really felt self-gratification and fulfillment in sewing. I just felt whole. Between sewing & clay - I am finding a calling I think, something I truly enjoy to do something I would like to do forever, something I would love to follow in to some kind of profession. Oooooooo to own my own shop...there I go dreamin' again...

While I was in Utah - trying to heal with my sister & family. I had just read about some cute summer sundresses on a sweet blog called Create and Delegate - right before everything happened. It dawned on me while I was there...PERFECT!! I thought it would help Cynn and I have something to focus on, something to be able to talk together, plan together, and for the little girls - something to look forward to!

We toodled over to Bernina Fabrics...I thought I had died and gone to fabric heaven... If I lived in Logan I think I would go broke! WHY can't we have a store like this? I wish they had a website where you could purchase fabric because it was GORGEOUS!!!!

Sewing in Utah helped me to maintain being creative, gave some shopping therapy, and yet it helped occupy our minds too. My love for sewing just GREW... it was a healing experience. Cynn (my hero) and I had a few nights alone working together where we could cry, laugh, talk, cry some more, be silly, mad, creative, and just be sisters who are trying to heal from such a tragedy. It was truly a bonding time and helped us to slowly start to make sense of things. I will treasure those nights. I look at the pretty dresses we accomplished and cute bags... and it means more to me than ever...

We also decided to make "Discovery Bags" for all five of the kiddos. We thought up the name because the kiddos could use them as they "discovered the world"... on a hike, walk, bike ride, or walking down to The Pioneer Parade. They worked perfect for that - we should know because we did all of the above! They could pick up items, hold water bottles etc... perfect for holding what they needed!
Cynn and I even decided to make something for ourselves... I tried a dress like the girls.
Well it didn't exactly look as cute on me...
as them...

I do l.o.v.e my dress...The fabric is just beautiful. It's comfey and airy and fun to wear. And I ended up making this one at my mom's house - so doing it together with Cynn & Mom was really special.

I just need to tweak it here and there to fit a bit less like a hmmmm 'moo-moo' I guess. Cynn decided that she was going to use her fabric differently (seeing my dress on me without the belt... i don't blame her lol) and we didn't get to finish hers...kinda a bummer - but she will create something beautiful or else I will for her! It did help us to pass the time in a creative way, helping us to have something to focus on rather than dwelling on our grief and helped us to spend quality time together.

I. LOVE. SEWING!!!! I REAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYY DO!

I cannot wait to get started on more projects! Stay tuned for treasures from Gramma San's house... ooooo the projects I can do with some of the neat stuff we brought home!!!

Domestic goddess... at her finest...

OK - well I love aprons... oh yes....I LOVE APRONS! When I was in Utah in November last year - I went to an adorable gourmet bake boutique here - The Sweet Tooth Fairy! OH joy, oh the cupcakes... Oooo I wish she would open a shop here... but before I lose myself as I start daydreaming of the sweet-o-sweet cupcakes - I bought an apron at the shop. This apron was so sweet... how could I not?! A cute, little pink and brown polka dot number. TOO CUTE!

I truly love the idea behind aprons. It's a very neat history. Seriously!! And well oh YES I love me-my history!! Today I started to cook and clean and I decided to pull my adorable, sweet lil' apron out from decoration and actually put it to some good use! And it got used!

I. Love. It. So. Much!!

A little squash and baked seeds... and hmmmm let's make some homemade spaghetti sauce! A little domestic goddess in action...

Whatcha think? does it love me back?

SILHOUETTE MACHINE GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

SILHOUETTE MACHINE GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

So I've decided I want one of these machines... I am going to try and "win" one (me and my 1,000 of bff's) but here's hoping!!! Check the machine out! SO COOOL!

It has come...

No matter how hard I tried to avoid it... the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL came!! Oh my girls were so cute and ready to go. Ms Boo was a bit worried the night before. She has 2 new teachers this year...so a lot is changing. And well... Boo doesn't do well with change. Her room, where she sits when she comes off the bus, lunchtime, where to catch the bus all are different this year. She was full of questions and worries and I answered and re-assured as best as I could with love & hugs.

curls for the first day

We started the morning with a nice breakfast and the obligatory photos leaving the house...



We drove the girls to school in the pouring rain!! Bleck - we were SOAKED!! But they kept smiling!!

We dropped them off in their classrooms.

Kyky's teacher was the same as last year so she was as 'cool as a cucumber'... or is it 'a cat'? O schmo... I dunno what's the right saying?? - but she was like "SEE YA Momma and Daddy!!". It was so cute!!

When they got off the bus in the afternoon... they were all a-smilin' and all had a great day! Boo's first comment - "I LOVE MY NEW TEACHERS! They are so nice!" *YES*!
They even like their new bus driver! *Double YES*!!

HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!! It's going to be quiet now...

Is it that time already??

Well the school bags are packed... full of new supplies, new lunchboxes, & an extra "lovey" to keep them company...

Open houses have been gone to...

The girls clothes are laid out... ready to hop on in to them as soon as they awake.

There've been hair trims, new shoes, and some last "family-fun" evenings - all in preparation for...

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!

Is it really time again? I don't think I am quite ready to let them go. It is a hard thing after everything to let someone else care for my babies... but perhaps that will be a good step? Where'd the summer go? My girls are second and fifth graders? My babies are getting so big! Too fast. We are so proud of them! Here's to a VERY good, wonderful school year this year!

Bonjour!!! Réveillez-vous!!!

As I was procrastinating cleaning/thinking some more... I checked out one of the blogs I love to read... CHEEKY KITCHEN and found the most scum-diddly-umptious breakfast recipe... like ever! It had two of my favorite things in one bang-up breakfast recipe....Crème brûlée and French toast... Oooooooo la laaaaaaaaa how can you go wrong? N'est pas?

I got to thinking about how I wanted to truly be a better momma by helping my girls to eat better, to eat more of the wonderful HOME-COOKED meals. To truly "be" there for them... by helping our family eat better. One of my best memories of growing up - is my mom always cooking a hot breakfast to start my day during the school year. Why haven't I kept this tradition going? (Well part of it is from picky-eating lil' sweet angels...) But I truly want to get back to cooking/baking/making wonderful HOME-COOKED meals for my family.

Now this recipe is not what I would call "good for you" - but as a special treat breakfast... OUI c'est manifique! It's important for me... to start this process to heal, for my girls, for Mr Safety Man, for us all. Through eating better and more wholesome... I think we start to put our tragedy filled-lives back together again.

Without nary another second to spare... here's the FANTASTIC recipe: (only 1 teensy problem... I never have french baguettes 'staling' around this house... Guess I will just have to buy a fresh one! Tante pis!)

Et Voila:


Cheeky Kitchen's Crème Brûlée
French Toast

(and her write up of how she got the recipe...)
Last month, while spending a couple of days with the Thermador company in Arizona, I ate creme brulee for dessert two days in a row. Have you ever heard anything so ridiculously amazing? Two days of creme brulee. The first time was at a fancy restaurant. The second after an incredible lunch prepared by the Thermador Test Kitchen's Chef Kyle, who willingly shared the recipe for his sweet, simple, lick-the-spoon-worthy creme brulee. Three days later I was back in my own kitchen, facing a barren pantry. There wasn't much in there, but we did have several thick slices of stale french bread. I wondered what would happen if I adapted Chef Kyle's creme brulee batter, making it part of a baked french toast dish for breakfast. The results were pure perfection (in a taste sense, not a diet-conscious one). The creme brulee batter, with it's thick egg yolks, soft brown sugar, and pure white whipping cream baked into a sweet caramel-flavored custard around the bread. We served it with fresh berries, but a warmed puree of frozen raspberries will work just as nicely.

2/3 c. light brown sugar
2/3 c. heavy whipping cream
6 fat slices of day-old french bread
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Place the egg yolks, sugar, and cream into a blender. Blend until well mixed. Prepare a deep baking dish with a thin layer of non-stick cooking spray. Place french toast pieces into the bottom of the baking dish. Pour egg mixture over the top of each slice of toast, making sure to cover them all very well with the the egg mixture. Place baking dish in oven, and bake uncovered for 40-45 minutes, or until the caramel is bubbling and the edges of the bread are slightly browned. Remove from oven and spoon hot french toast onto plates. Serve with fresh raspberries, or heat and puree 1 cup of frozen raspberries for a fresh-tasting syrup that compliments the caramel flavor beautifully.




Wishing You a Delicious Morning.
Bon Appetit!!

Et BONNE Journée!!!

A way too feel better and laugh at myself...

On a lighter, self gratifying note...
Well, being in Utah for a month lent my hair to being in rather distress when I got back (talk about dry and bleached out! WHOA!). I've been kind of burying myself here at home (preservation technique?) - so i thought getting out & getting my hair cut before Mr Safety-Man's Dad's funeral would make me feel better or at least give me some of my confidence back. I have to say... it sure made me laugh when I caught a glimpse of my Cock-a-too hair while my hairdresser was om "fixing it" (i don't have to admit to altering it... do I?)! I HAD to send the pictures to my sister/family. I figured if it lightened my mood... perhaps it would lighten theirs... and yours too perhaps?! So enjoy some funny photos at my expense...

(but somehow getting my hair cut did make me feel a smidge better... is that wrong?)

Sadly... before...

keeheeehee this one gets me everytime... obviously - DURING...
(can you say COCK-A-TOO?)

The END RESULT! YAY!
I love it... a bit different, lighter,
(& am I not stylin' in my funky sunglasses - ok don't answer that... i'm fragile!)

Time for a new norm...

Well something happened to my last background and I couldn't get the blog to function properly... so I "upgraded" or at least I changed things up a tad.

A "new norm" has a lot of significance to my life now... I just don't know really how to start the explanation except to say... I have had more sorrow, grief, and loss in 3 months than a person should have to bear in years.

I don't even know how to write about how I feel or all that happened. I don't even know where to begin... I thought the "death and sadness" was over. It wasn't.

I have lost so much. We have lost so much.

On July 8th (our 15-year & my parents' 43rd wedding anniversaries), 2010 evening... I have lost my dear, sweet, 5-year old twin nephew... ANDREW ROBERT REDDIG.
I can't go in to details except to say he was riding his bike and was hit by car. We miss him desperately. My family is broken. He was my kindred spirit - so alike me - it hurts to think. Why my family?

And then to make our lives a little more like a soap-opera or BAD drama... on top of Mr Safety-Man's mom passing away. His dad died in his sleep - the night before my sweet Andrew's funeral. WHY?????????????? O WHY LORD is this happening?

I had a more eloquently post brewing in my head. But I just cannot seem to say what I want to say. I am filled with such loss.

I spent the month with my sister and her family in Logan, UT. Trying to help - the best I could. Trying to make the hurt less noticeable. Trying with all my might to turn back the clock and make Andrew re-appear. It didn't work. But we did find strength through our family. We did lean on eachother. When one of us was down... the other built them up. Our children helped us - with their need of us. Even the pets felt the great loss and rallied around us. I tried to make my sister and her hubby feel that life was still ok. My sister is so brave and strong. But she is so sad too. She is re-building a "new normal" - she says. I just don't want to right now. She is my guide. I am trying to be more like her. The grief and loss hit at the oddest times and sometimes just don't go away. Yesterday was like that. But I guess I put myself on "DeNiAL IsLaNd" - (it's the place to be don'tcha know?)- helping everyone else in Utah. because now I am home in Florida again and I feel the loss over again...It hurts. It cuts. It's raw. I feel alone. I feel bitter. I feel cheated. I feel lost and in despair. I feel so sad...

I will write more as I can... But for right now?! I keep busy, I don't sleep, I try to "be" for my girls.

Lord, I am looking for you, help?